Quick answer: He’d have registered a violence against women case. Sorry, but sometimes I sit here and entertain idle and figurative thoughts like these! But I mean, how on earth did David escape a battlefield with a large Philistine like Goliath, and yet succumb to gazing into women’s bathrooms?

It’s like surviving war under UPDF in Somalia, and returning to Kampala, only to disappear somewhere in Kabalagala, unable to restrain yourself from the city’s nightlife and allure.

How can that be?

Yet it seems, a lot of God’s people are generally character contradictions of the highest order.

Think of his son, Solomon, after marrying 300 concubines and 700 wives., he writes some of the wisest Proverbs applicable globally, which would beg the question, should we only do as the polygamous man said, or did?

Hold that thought for a moment,

We then get to Jesus Christ, the sinless, perfect son of God, who not only makes the dead rise, but rises on the third day. You want to read about his family tree?

Well, his Mathew 1 family photo features a detested Moabite foreigner like Ruth, a prostitute like Tamar, a renown Old Testament idolater called Manasseh, and a pair of incestuous folks called Judah and Tamar, to mention but a few. I tell you! Look at the whole thing here.

Fast forward a bit to the guy whose name is synonymous with the rock on which the church will be built.

Peter.

I mean, he can’t even remember such privilege when he’s later denying Jesus three times. If it were you and me assigning solid people to associate church foundations with, John maybe, but Peter, no.

And so on and so on,

We haven’t even talked about another who ends up writing a large chunk of the New Testament, with one record to his name, murdering Christians. Saint Paul. with blood-stained hands, forgiven, now writing epistles.

Such is God’s story, in his family photo, everybody gestures with glory. He turns rascals into vessels, known idolaters, and the sexually broken pose too, sometimes right at the front, active on the frontlines of redemption.

Prostitutes like Tamar and character-contradicting Davids generate a messianic outcome they all never saw coming. It’s outsiders like Ruth standing in the middle, it’s the sexually broken smiling too, it’s you and I featuring in the same frame of grace today, misfits with mercy, outliers with opportunity.

You begin to wonder about folks who tell us to “slay our Goliaths” without preparing us for the Batheshebas that may be on their way too, albeit soon enough, to leave us despairing of our inspired willpower, and longing for a better God-man without contradictions. Jesus Christ!

Hey, aren’t you thankful your salvation is outside you?