“Well, first I am curious why you ask about my ways into the modern church. I tend to be a very private being, undercover. If you want to call me that, one of your apostles even called me a “roaring lion.” You see, I actually know more Bible than you!

Well, I digress.

A rare photo of a Valentine’s day gift of land (internet Photo)

Let’s start there, and I share this in secret. I like it when people just stop ‘knowing the Bible,’ just like me; it even gets better if they are single. I like it when they can recite more scripture than they obey; this is good. I like it when their pastor only opens the Bible on Sunday, but still makes it about men, ‘current affairs, name it.’

It’s pleasing to see their pastors make scripture about self-improvement, social progress, and cute motivations. It gives me joy to see their churches focus on that, because then what Jesus did on the cross becomes pointless to these singles, the shed blood is a ‘by-the-way,’ substitution is nothing, and atonement is a footnote. This is always a good foundation for me.

Because people in any church grow spiritually malnourished in all things (including relational wisdom) until they learn to behold Christ before anything, before marriage, before relationships, before work, before anything. I have seen and learned that over the years.

But we will come back to those “knowledgeable” people; let me first tell you about some of my other favorite church people, the single women and men (and who knows, after those we will talk about the marrieds someday). Huh?

You see, these singles are easy prey for me because of two of their habits: they tend to either make marriage the ultimate thing or dismiss it as nothing. Those mindsets work for me, because it means their eyes are still not focused on my arch-enemy, Jesus.

Which means they can continue in my chaotic relational territory of ‘talking stage, accompanied by Valentine vibes, zero spiritual accountability, social media comparisons, flirting, vibes, worldly expectations, mobile money gifts, and illicit sex’.’

See, then, that I can set their whole ‘purity thing’ ablaze, lure them into lust, and ultimately sex before marriage. By the way, I have experience in slowly launching lust even among the best Christian dating couples you can think of right now. That way, I kill the marriage institution before it starts. What is mere sexual purity among singles when I am already good at distorting it among long-term marrieds?

I like it when Jesus’s sacrifice in a single person’s life is still just a means to better living, when the power he gives them to kill sin is minimized; that means more casualties for me.

If I can only cause them to think of marriage as the ultimate goal, if I can cause them to think a “soulmate” is all they need, if I get them coupling and physically involved while they convince themselves, “At least we didn’t have sex”—I’ve got them.

Now, I don’t mind; they can keep coming to church, but as long as their repentance about “touching inappropriately” is not radical and immediate, I am happy with them lifting “holy hands” every Sunday.

Let me close with my other favorite category: those who dismiss marriage but still casually keep relating anyway. Those who will “die to post” during Valentine’s week.

You see, I have not seen as much threat to my work through 2000 years of my job like that I get from marrieds. You see, families in the Christian Church pose the biggest threat to my work; they have more capacity to disciple and form Christians than anything else.

So to see a young single person dismiss the gift of marriage yet continue watching porn, flirting, sexting, baiting gifts, dating for vibes, chickening out of heartbreak, and casually tossing in and out of relationships is a delight; it means trouble has been laid even before it even begins.

Think about it: It’s sheer delight for me to, for example, see young educated women saying, “Marriage is a prison,” while at the same time ignoring spiritually mature guys, guys who are already growing into the man she “needs” but maybe does not “want” right now. This means I can always keep women arrogant by letting them measure potential Christian husbands by worldly standards.

As you can see, I like all these categories: those who obsess over marriage by thinking it will satisfy all their existential needs (only to get there and realize sanctification is a lifetime); those who try to vaguely sample marriage’s weight and benefits (with the lowest commitment possible), settling for ambiguous dating relationships; and those who dismiss the entire project altogether, forgetting how it matters in my arch-enemy’s kingdom.

A kingdom whose king, Jesus, requires that his subjects keep their eyes on only him, in absolute relational purity, whether they are single or married.”